Negotiation strategies that make money

We now live in uncertain and crazy times which has shown that it is difficult for some to cope and know what to do. People fall into panic buying and supermarket shelves are emptied out. There is psychological reasoning that helps us understand why people become irrational and stock up on food stuffs and toilet paper unnecessarily. David Rock, the Co-founder & Chief Executive Officer of the NeuroLeadership Institute, developed a model which provides an understanding of the true drivers of human social behaviour. The SCARF model consists of five domains: Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness and Fairness. Status is about my own importance in relation to others. If my status it threatened; for example, due to a job loss I am trying to do anything to change that. Certainty is about knowing what comes next and being able to predict the future. We now live in highly uncertain times. We might be in lock down tomorrow; we don’t know when we will be able to travel aga...

In these unprecedented times of lock downs, working from home and travel bans, most families are now pushed into new situations that they have to get used to. In a globalised world where we are required to travel frequently; either domestic or international; many of us have developed a healthy balance of when we are apart and when everyone is back home. The Corona Virus has now forced many of us into new situations where suddenly the whole family sits together every night for dinner. In the long term this new situation can lead to new family dynamics and will require some sound negotiation skills. Here are some tips that might help get through these times with your family intact. 1)      This is new situation for everyone, try and look at the issue through the lenses of the other party. Do this by asking questions that reveal why this is an issue and/or why this is important. 2)      Separate the issue from the person, never make an...

With 2020 being the year of social distancing due to Corona Virus, we can no longer take a face to face negotiation for granted. We must adapt to negotiating via e-mail, video conferencing or over the phone. This is of course all possible and with the right preparation we can be as successful. A skilled negotiator understands the most important attributes to a successful outcome. These are body language, tone of voice and reactions to their proposals by the other party. A skilled negotiator can read the other party through these attributes which assist in determining the next move. This is of course limited during a negotiation via video conference.  Heightened Awareness While you will never be able to look the other party in the eye and vice versa, you can see yourself . This creates more awareness to oneself but it can also be a distraction if you are too focused on your own facial expressions. A skilled negotiator wants the other party to see what they want them to ...

If you want to be a respected negotiator build long term relationships and create value for both parties then you need to build trust first. Trust is earned and can be lost easily. Only when the other party trusts that you are genuine and don’t use dodgy means to come to the best deal then you will be taken seriously; and you will earn the trust of the other party. Trust is the foundation of a collaborative negotiation whereby both parties will feel that they got a good deal in the end. A trustworthy relationship is important to your reputation and it will allow for more negotiations and more deals with that party. We build trust trough ‘relatedness’ (David Rock). Once we find some similarities, we build rapport and feel ‘related’ to each other which builds trust. Robert Cialdini describes in his book ‘Influence’ that similarity builds rapport which results in trust. The law of liking and the law of similarity It is no surprise that we like to deal with people we...

There is a saying that goes “withstand the silence”, which means be silent to let the other party talk.  In a negotiation you want to gain as much information as possible from the other party as it gives you more power. By understanding the perspectives of both parties you have a better chance to analyse the issue more holistically and to plan your strategy in much greater detail. How cool, you can use that proverb to your advantage. Here is how it works. Enduring that moment were nothing is said can be pretty uncomfortable. To silence doesn’t mean you are not saying nothing. You are just not engaging in talking. If you are in desperate need of information or credit the other party with more power you should use two silence behaviour. At the start of a negotiation begin by asking an open question first. When listening repeat the last phrases as it heats up further commenting by the other party exposing more information that may be useful for you. Continue listening as the ot...

There is a school of thought that believes that certain types of negotiations are fixed pie or zero sum negotiations. Meaning that what I win you lose and the other way around. A fixed pie assumption leads us to believe that there is a finite resource and both parties are now competing for the bigger piece of it. This assumption is destructive, leads to unreasonable means and unpleasant behaviours.   In some instances this approach can lead to deadlocks and it damages relationships. Once a negotiator has abandoned the fixed pie assumption and starts to concentrate on the opportunities on how to create value and grow the pie for both parties the negotiation becomes more complex but also more rewarding for both parties. In order to create value the negotiation parties need to be interested in each other and understand each other’s interests, pain points and goal. The following steps will assist with achieving this: Find a common ground – build rapport Find somethin...

Interpersonal Orientation (IO) provides an insight into social interaction between two individuals. People with high levels of IO are interested in building relationships with others. People with low levels of IO are less interested are less interested in building relationships, but more interested in what advantages they can get out of it. The degree to which a negotiator operates interpersonal orientation depends also on the context of a negotiation. Whenever two negotiators with the same level of IO meet, there is less chance of the other being exploited. High levels result into high cooperative behavior and personal relations, whereas low levels result into self-oriented behavior and low trust between the parties. If your levels of IO are too high, meaning you are too friendly and want to be friends with everybody, you are in danger of making a bad deal. You will feel bad asking for more and you won’t be able to drive a tough negotiation. When meeting a low IO negotiator, it ...