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Why zero sum negotiations get in the way of a better deal


There is a school of thought that believes that certain types of negotiations are fixed pie or zero sum negotiations. Meaning that what I win you lose and the other way around.
A fixed pie assumption leads us to believe that there is a finite resource and both parties are now competing for the bigger piece of it. This assumption is destructive, leads to unreasonable means and unpleasant behaviours. 
In some instances this approach can lead to deadlocks and it damages relationships.
Once a negotiator has abandoned the fixed pie assumption and starts to concentrate on the opportunities on how to create value and grow the pie for both parties the negotiation becomes more complex but also more rewarding for both parties.
In order to create value the negotiation parties need to be interested in each other and understand each other’s interests, pain points and goal.
The following steps will assist with achieving this:

Find a common ground – build rapport
Find something that both parties have in common; maybe you went to the same University or you both share a passion for a sport. That breaks down barriers and builds rapport.

Build trust through information sharing
Sharing information shows that I am willing to open up and tell the other party about my situations. Make sure you only divulge information that you can and want to give away, never be an open book, prepare carefully what can and what cannot be shared.

Use the law of reciprocity
Information sharing does not only build trust it also uses the law of reciprocity, meaning that if I give you something you feel obliged to give something in return.

Ask effective questions
You want to know was much as possible about the other party concerning this negotiation. Make sure you ask effective questions, never ask closed questions that give you ‘yes’, ‘no’ answers.

Separate the people from the problem
Never make an issue personal, talk about the issue that you have to solve in a cordial manner. Avoid using ‘you’ as it sounds like an accusation.

These steps will help moving the negotiation from a zero-sum negotiation to a negotiation where both parties create value and build a relationship.
Remember: You never know when you meet again.

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