Negotiation strategies that make money

Sharing information builds trust which is the basis for any long term relationship and good outcomes. The art is to understand what information is appropriate to share, what should be kept for a later time and what information can’t be shared. Sharing information also calls for reciprocity meaning that the other party feels obliged to give something in return, in this case also share information. Social psychologists call it The Law of Reciprocity, meaning that when you get something you have the urge to reciprocate and give something in return which in many cases can be far more generous. While information sharing builds trust it is important that before going into a negotiation one must calculate the risks and benefits of sharing information with their counterpart. A common mistake people make is that they share too much information. Sharing too much information can damage your position of power because information is power and the more the other party knows about you and your p...

I recently had to get an arborist to do some tree pruning at our house. An arborist is not someone that I would call on very often hence I wondered how do I know that I got the best offer? Yes, you can get a comparison quote, which I did get, but then again was this the best offer I could get? Here are 5 steps that help to get a better deal. 1)      Build rapport People like to deal with people they like, so why burn your bridges and play hard ball.   People like to be of help so assume good intentions build rapport and trust. 2)      Reject the offer politely Tell the other party that their price is too high. While you would like to consider them for the job you would like them to review their offer. 3)      Think about their motivations Put yourself in their shoes. What motivates them to get this work? Is it money, is it the prospect of more work or do they need the job because business is slow...

We live in highly uncertain times; social distancing and working from home is now the new normal. This also means more e-mails and more phone calls. In this post I want to share some tips on how you can nail your communication via email. Albert Mehrabian’s rule of 55-38-7 means that 55% of our communication is through our body language and facial expression, 38% comes from our tone of voice; how we say something; and only 7% comes from our words. This shows that it is even more important to carefully plan and write an email, making sure we get across what we want and how we want it. 1)      Be precise and concise and keep it short Have you ever received and email that has 3 paragraphs or more? Most people don’t read long emails to the end. In order to not lose their attention, bring your point across in a short and concise message. 2)      Make it easy to follow You want the receiver to read your email and remember the key poi...

We now live in uncertain and crazy times which has shown that it is difficult for some to cope and know what to do. People fall into panic buying and supermarket shelves are emptied out. There is psychological reasoning that helps us understand why people become irrational and stock up on food stuffs and toilet paper unnecessarily. David Rock, the Co-founder & Chief Executive Officer of the NeuroLeadership Institute, developed a model which provides an understanding of the true drivers of human social behaviour. The SCARF model consists of five domains: Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness and Fairness. Status is about my own importance in relation to others. If my status it threatened; for example, due to a job loss I am trying to do anything to change that. Certainty is about knowing what comes next and being able to predict the future. We now live in highly uncertain times. We might be in lock down tomorrow; we don’t know when we will be able to travel aga...

In these unprecedented times of lock downs, working from home and travel bans, most families are now pushed into new situations that they have to get used to. In a globalised world where we are required to travel frequently; either domestic or international; many of us have developed a healthy balance of when we are apart and when everyone is back home. The Corona Virus has now forced many of us into new situations where suddenly the whole family sits together every night for dinner. In the long term this new situation can lead to new family dynamics and will require some sound negotiation skills. Here are some tips that might help get through these times with your family intact. 1)      This is new situation for everyone, try and look at the issue through the lenses of the other party. Do this by asking questions that reveal why this is an issue and/or why this is important. 2)      Separate the issue from the person, never make an...

With 2020 being the year of social distancing due to Corona Virus, we can no longer take a face to face negotiation for granted. We must adapt to negotiating via e-mail, video conferencing or over the phone. This is of course all possible and with the right preparation we can be as successful. A skilled negotiator understands the most important attributes to a successful outcome. These are body language, tone of voice and reactions to their proposals by the other party. A skilled negotiator can read the other party through these attributes which assist in determining the next move. This is of course limited during a negotiation via video conference.  Heightened Awareness While you will never be able to look the other party in the eye and vice versa, you can see yourself . This creates more awareness to oneself but it can also be a distraction if you are too focused on your own facial expressions. A skilled negotiator wants the other party to see what they want them to ...

If you want to be a respected negotiator build long term relationships and create value for both parties then you need to build trust first. Trust is earned and can be lost easily. Only when the other party trusts that you are genuine and don’t use dodgy means to come to the best deal then you will be taken seriously; and you will earn the trust of the other party. Trust is the foundation of a collaborative negotiation whereby both parties will feel that they got a good deal in the end. A trustworthy relationship is important to your reputation and it will allow for more negotiations and more deals with that party. We build trust trough ‘relatedness’ (David Rock). Once we find some similarities, we build rapport and feel ‘related’ to each other which builds trust. Robert Cialdini describes in his book ‘Influence’ that similarity builds rapport which results in trust. The law of liking and the law of similarity It is no surprise that we like to deal with people we...