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This persuasion skill leads to negotiation success


The book influence by Robert B. Cialdini, PH.D. has become an international bestseller. This book on persuasion explains why people say ‘yes’ and how to apply this knowledge. He discusses six common principles which he also calls mental short cuts as we rely on mental short cuts every time we are faced with a decision. He explains how to use these principles, how to become a skilled persuader and how to defend yourself from them.


In this post we will discuss the first principle – RECIPROCITY
Picture the scene, you are going out for coffee with a colleague and you are paying for the coffees. What is your colleague’s most likely reaction? ‘Thank you for the coffee, I will get it next time’. This is the law of reciprocity that is applied in most situations meaning if I give you something you feel obliged to give me something in return.
In negotiation this rule is essential. When we negotiate, we start with a more extreme demand first so we can then concede. If you concede first, you show the other party that you are willing to move and you provide the other party with a positive experience. They will then feel the need to give you something in return, meaning that they will also concede.
When you concede make sure you start conceding on issues that are not that important to you. It helps to understand the variables that you are negotiating over and classifying them into what is important to you and what is important to them. You can then strategically think about your starting positions and how you concede in order to give the other party a good experience.
Never underestimate the power of reciprocity. For instance when you have done something for someone and you reply to them thanking you with ‘Don’t mention it, it was nothing’ you take them out of the obligation to do something for you in the future. Instead answer with ‘It was a pleasure and I know that if I need you that you will be there for me’. This way the other party is now obliged in the future.



#persuasion #negotiation #negotiationskills

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