Skip to main content

How to manage fear of negotiating


Negotiation is conflict which makes negotiation uncomfortable. Most people dislike negotiating because of the aspect that negotiation is uncomfortable.
In such situations negative emotions like anxiety, anger or competitiveness take over.
Anxiety is an emotion that is focused on oneself. It is triggered when there is unease of a situation and where the outcome is unknown. Anxiety is a reaction to a threat which triggers the flight response. Crediting the other party with more bargaining power than oneself is one trigger that can create anxiety in a negotiation.

Negotiators who are anxious in a negotiation tend to want to get out of the situation quickly; they want to run away from it if they could. Trying to get out of the negotiation quickly is counterproductive. An anxious negotiator is very likely to not open ambitiously and is very likely to concede easily. 
An anxious negotiator  might also accept the first offer just to finish the negotiation quickly. This plays into the hands of the other party meaning that they will get the better deal. There is no upside in showing anxiety in a negotiation, in fact it is counterproductive and it is very likely that the other party will take advantage of it to get the best deal. Managing anxiety is important in order not to be taken advantage of.

The best way to manage anxiety is through preparation. The better you are prepared the more confident you are and the less likely you are to credit the other party with more power.
Preparation takes time but the time is worth spending as it has a direct impact on the outcome of the negotiation. If you are anxious sitting at the negotiation table to negotiate then you need to rehearse. You need to expose yourself to the negotiation environment to get used to the fact that negotiation is uncomfortable.

You can do this as a role play. Ask a colleague or a friend to rehearse an upcoming negotiation with you or make a negotiation situation up and practice.
The other option to practice negotiating is to expose yourself to negotiations where you have nothing to lose, only to win. Call your bank and negotiate a better rate on your home loan, or call your mobile phone company and negotiate a better deal. All this is practice and the more you are exposed to negotiations the less anxious you will be in future negotiations. You should never feel bad to ask for what you want but make sure you are well prepared.

#negotiationskills #negotiate #negotiationpractice


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What is Black Friday and why it is not worth it if you are a great negotiator.

All last week was hyped up by ‘Black Friday’ Sales. But what is it and why do we have it in Australia and is it worth it? Black Friday originates from the US and is the Friday after Thanksgiving which is the fourth Friday in November. Thanksgiving is a public holiday in the US. In the 1950s people used the Friday as a sick day and went shopping to get a head start in their Christmas shopping. Eventually in the 1960s this day turned into another paid leave day or shall we say into a paid ‘shopping day’. It has become a made-up event to drive consumerism. Many believe the term ‘Black Friday’ is used for profit making; black numbers in the ledger books; but that is not entirely correct. While this is the meaning today it meant something totally different in the 50s and 60s.  According to Bonnie Taylor Blake, a researcher at the University of North California, the term originated in Philadelphia by the Philadelphia police as they saw the day as a terrible day. The city was fil

The anchoring effect when setting your price

In my recent post I spoke about why in a negotiation you should put your price on the table first. It is all about setting an expectation or an anchor. Once the anchor is set, the negotiation will revolve around the anchor point. Most of the time we already store an anchor of certain products in our head. You expect to pay $4.00 for a Sushi roll for lunch, or $3.50 for a regular size coffee from the coffee shop next to your office. But what happens with products that we don’t buy very often, and we are less familiar with? A few weeks ago, our washing machine blew up. During the spin cycle smoke came out of the back of the washing machine which was the end of it. The last time I bought a washing machine was probably 7 or 8 years ago, so I had no idea how much a front loader from a particular brand would cost now. What most of us do, and I did it too, is consult the internet and look at the next best website that sells washing machines. The first price we see for that prod

Negotiation strategies to lower interest rates on your home loan

Do you really get the best interest rate from your bank? Have you thought about how you could negotiate your interest rate down? When interest rates go down the banks give you something to keep you happy, so you won’t ask for more.  But could you get more? Why not try. Review your interest rates and speak to your bank to get a better rate. Don’t let them shut you down with the excuse that they have already reduced the rates. The reality is that there is more room to move because if they can give away something without you asking then they can probably give you more. Do your research Research what the competitors are offering. Use comparison websites and then call the bank to make sure that you would get this rate. Find out what the rate for new customers is Banks often offer great promotions to lure in new clients which existing clients don’t get. This is something that I find annoying, why don’t they reward loyalty instead. Set yourself a target rate Set yoursel