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How to manage fear of negotiating


Negotiation is conflict which makes negotiation uncomfortable. Most people dislike negotiating because of the aspect that negotiation is uncomfortable.
In such situations negative emotions like anxiety, anger or competitiveness take over.
Anxiety is an emotion that is focused on oneself. It is triggered when there is unease of a situation and where the outcome is unknown. Anxiety is a reaction to a threat which triggers the flight response. Crediting the other party with more bargaining power than oneself is one trigger that can create anxiety in a negotiation.

Negotiators who are anxious in a negotiation tend to want to get out of the situation quickly; they want to run away from it if they could. Trying to get out of the negotiation quickly is counterproductive. An anxious negotiator is very likely to not open ambitiously and is very likely to concede easily. 
An anxious negotiator  might also accept the first offer just to finish the negotiation quickly. This plays into the hands of the other party meaning that they will get the better deal. There is no upside in showing anxiety in a negotiation, in fact it is counterproductive and it is very likely that the other party will take advantage of it to get the best deal. Managing anxiety is important in order not to be taken advantage of.

The best way to manage anxiety is through preparation. The better you are prepared the more confident you are and the less likely you are to credit the other party with more power.
Preparation takes time but the time is worth spending as it has a direct impact on the outcome of the negotiation. If you are anxious sitting at the negotiation table to negotiate then you need to rehearse. You need to expose yourself to the negotiation environment to get used to the fact that negotiation is uncomfortable.

You can do this as a role play. Ask a colleague or a friend to rehearse an upcoming negotiation with you or make a negotiation situation up and practice.
The other option to practice negotiating is to expose yourself to negotiations where you have nothing to lose, only to win. Call your bank and negotiate a better rate on your home loan, or call your mobile phone company and negotiate a better deal. All this is practice and the more you are exposed to negotiations the less anxious you will be in future negotiations. You should never feel bad to ask for what you want but make sure you are well prepared.

#negotiationskills #negotiate #negotiationpractice


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